The Artists’
Grief Deck

How-to

Welcome to the Artists’ Grief Deck. There is no correct way to use these cards, but we have these suggestions:

  • Set aside time for yourself to go through them
  • Find or make a space for yourself
  • Look closely at the images
  • Be open to the feelings that arise
Learn More

Names of Those Lost

While visiting the 9/11 memorial in NYC outside in the rain, I ran my fingers over the engraved names in the memorial walls surrounding the fountains outlining the towers. I thought/prayed for each st...

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When distressed, go meet your younger self

Reconnect with the childlike wonder within you. Wonder that made you feel alive. Think about at least two things that gave you immense joy as a child. Close your eyes and try to imbibe that feeling. S...

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A drawing of a grid of simply drawn stick flowers. There are thirty-five in all in five rows of seven flowers.

The Bouquet

Set up a clean space at a flat work surface, and grab two things: a favorite pen or marker. a stack of blank paper. In the first attempts at this practice, it can be helpful to set a timer. Start with...

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2019

2019, the year that brought me to my knees. The year I entered a major depressive episode with which I am still struggling. Living and working with chronic illness was killing me... my body and brain...

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Hugs

Sometimes nobody else is around, or there's nobody to turn to for a hug. Maybe your person who died is the one who gave the best hugs, or even the only one who hugged you. Sometimes you just have to g...

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A painting in rough brushstrokes of a male figure weating blue pants and a white tanktop, seated on a black folding chair. The figure is leaning forward, elbows on knees, hands folded together, head bowed. The bakcground is broad-strokes of white paint, dripping in places, over a dark orange background.

Time and Perspective

This piece, What Is To Come, derives from a time that I observed my husband sitting for a long moment in contemplation. He had just returned home to us after serving time in federal and immigration detention centers.

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Meditation for Lighting a Candle

Upon lighting — becoming aware of anything you are grieving or wanting to honor as it is lost to the earth and the stars — (ex. a person, or beliefs about this country, world, a relationship, a pa...

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Tunnel Life

Upul said, "Betty be a tunnel" Betty be a tunnel the dread the love the breath the loss You are a tunnel let life go through...

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What Makes Me Feel Better

To get through my sadness I feel better when I take three deep breaths and calm down. I imagine I’m breathing my emotions into a balloon and then I let it go. The cat is thoughtful and petting it ma...

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Smelling Flowers

Imagine a vase with flowers and those flowers are the person you are missing (if you have a vase and real flowers, this will work). Now imagine the smell of the flowers and picture the person. Does th...

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A painting of a Black man's head and shoulders in profile. He is surrounded by large white flowers, with a pink background and the words "Black-Skinned Beauty" in the white border at the bottom.

Helping Others Will Help Yourself

Helping others will help yourself.

Focusing on others can be a great way to enable healing.

Consider doing random acts of kindness: donating supplies to an animal shelter, delivering flowers to a nursing home...

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A watercolor painting of a circle of many colored stones with a yellow feather at the top and a blue feather at the bottom. In the center is an opal-like stone.

Gathering of Stones

A Walking Meditation Take a quiet walk toward an outdoor place you enjoy such as a park, beach, or woods. As you walk, pick up any small stones that catch your eye. Stop long enough to examine each st...

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The Hardest Thing

If I could say one thing to the person who died, I would… The hardest thing about life without this person is…....

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Color Wheel

Worries seem to swirl around us sometimes. Some clang loudly, some whisper. Take a few deep breaths and call up one of your worries or concerns. Hold it for a moment in your imagination, then let it l...

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Writing to Cope

When I am going through a difficult phase I tend to bottle everything up. I used to think it was normal to do this and that it was a more efficient way of dealing with my feelings. Through doing this...

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A black and white photo collage. The bare torso of a black man extends his arms forward and clenches his hands together. Caught within those hands is a smaller image of the shirtless black man, his arms constrained by the large hands within which he's held.

People Grieve Differently

Not everyone grieves alike. Some express grief through their feelings and gain comfort from talking to others. Still others express grief through actions and problem-solving, preferring not to talk ab...

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The Grief of Growth

Often when we go through a major change in our lives, we unknowingly mourn the loss of that version of ourselves. This death of a self can also occur through good change, and we get confused about why...

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Dear Future Ancestor / Nero Spiral

Meditation: "In the future the dead is all of us - jumped out of the earth to dance again. Every step a reminder of rhythm. Woven into our clothes gleam - dragonfly winged - I remember the good ghosts...

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A photograph of a young barefoot woman's legs with a garden of dead flowers in the foreground.

Holding Vigil

This image reenacts the final weeks of my mother's life, holding vigil in her room, surrounded by condolence flowers, waiting for death to relieve her pain. Having experienced the anticipatory grief o...

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