The Artists’
Grief Deck

How-to

Welcome to the Artists’ Grief Deck. There is no correct way to use these cards, but we have these suggestions:

  • Set aside time for yourself to go through them
  • Find or make a space for yourself
  • Look closely at the images
  • Be open to the feelings that arise
Learn More

A Simple Exercise

Pretend a newspaper reporter is interviewing you to learn about grief and loss and your job is to teach them. What would you want them to know about what it’s like to be you since your loved one die...

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The Musing Below Helps Me Let Go

The musing below helps me let go. Whenever we paint our nails, we are more aware of the bones of the fingers. Take those moments with your body. The tick marks of my life that used to hold milestones...

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A photograph of a white person's hand holding a photograph of an older white woman. In the background is a large body of water.

Carry Them With You

Find or create a likeness of your lost loved one. It could be a photograph, a small sculpture, an object that belonged to the person or something else. Choose something that represents them at their b...

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Release the “Shoulds”

Our world has been in disarray from COVID-19 since March. If you’re like me and have a paper calendar, the following months look strange, empty, and not even representative of our own lives. Spend t...

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A drawing of a woman in profile. She is staring intently at the viewer while she sews up parts of her flesh that are torn apart showing her biological matter inside.

Dealing With Past Wrongs and Resentments

Anger, resentment and unforgiveness are heavy burdens to carry and, if not dealt with, can sabotage your grief journey. Writing a letter to the one who has wronged you can be incredibly healing. Take...

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A photograph of a young barefoot woman's legs with a garden of dead flowers in the foreground.

Holding Vigil

This image reenacts the final weeks of my mother's life, holding vigil in her room, surrounded by condolence flowers, waiting for death to relieve her pain. Having experienced the anticipatory grief o...

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Making Art Helped Me

My great grandmother was one of the most special, wonderful people in my life. She would fly from New Zealand to Australia every year for my birthday, and she would stay in my room, telling me countle...

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Grief Rituals Honor Sorrow

“Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk but by the wine poured forth. For love’s strength standeth in love’s sacrifice and whoso suffers most hast most to give.” – U...

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A drawing of two long ladders that intersect and have their rungs entwined in the middle. One ladder is gray/pink, the other is wood and they both extend beyond the edge of the card.

Grieving the loss of control

Losing someone or something important to us brings home the fact there is much in life we cannot control. Control is something we thought we had, but ultimately there are many things in life we cannot...

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A screenprint with watercolor of a river with five tributaries. It travels from top to bottom and the roman number 5 is written at the top.

Expressing Grief

The 5 of Water in the ECOtarot deck is pictured here. The water cards are related to emotions and the 5 cards are cards that relate to loss. This loss is something that must be passed through in order...

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A photograph, dramatically lit, in which a white woman's naked torso is seen cradling in her arms the body of a light brown and white owl, with its white-feathered wing extended downward.

Hold Yourself in Grief

Be gentle with your body through this loss. Find a safe and comfortable space to sit or lie down. Breathe. Name your grief out loud. Cry for as long as you need to. Place your hand on your heart and s...

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An abstract black and white and grey drawing that has a ghostly feeling with images of peony flowers emerging from the right side.

Connecting With the Body

I grieve not only for the losses of the present but also for what could have been. If I stay too long in my head imagining the things I won't ever have, I can lose myself in a spiral downward. When I...

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If Only

Regret may come with your grief. "If only", "I shouldn't have...", "I wish I..." The feeling of regret can be crushing but most emotions are here to serve you. Your regret tries to teach you what to d...

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When someone dies

When someone dies, you can thank them for their life. Walk around the house, inside or outside. Find something that makes you think about the person who died. Really think about that person. Thank the...

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Unfurling

Interplaying with the grief. Put on a piece of music (3-5 min long instrumental works great) and begin to move. Taking care of your body and listening - Does it need to move gently with a swaying moti...

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A colorful cartoon painting of a daisy with a face on it. Her eyes are closed and blue lines that appear to be rain cross over the image vertically.

Acceptance

Let it rain....

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Tenderness

Recall moments of tenderness, both human and otherwise: the touch of hand on shoulder, the needed hug, a note or message, the way that your cats curl together, the delicate meeting of boulders in the...

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A horizontally-oriented color photograph of a large pile of ashes with burned incense sticks at the center. In the background of the image are black and white writings and drawings.

Connecting Through Rituals

Rituals symbolically connect us to the larger world and each other and those who have come before us. There is some evidence the actions in rituals may actually release endorphins, which can ease anxi...

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A colorful, roughly-brushed painting that features tree-like figures with orange and yellow leaves, and other items in gray and brown and blue that may refer to the built environment.

Tune Your Senses

Look outside a window. Take note of the neighborhood you’re in, with all your senses. Sense the familiar or unfamiliar smells that are almost barely detectable. Hear the sounds that freely move and...

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